Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Ruminations on Being Fat and Lazy

Hey!

The Husband and I recently have a running dialog about how lazy and fat we've gotten. If only all this talk burned calories...


My interests have always run to the sedentary--reading, crafting, movies/tv. And I always have exercise equipment in the living room, that I really do use. No, really! But the stress eating of the last year or so has taken it's toll on both of us. The Husband has never been a sweet eater. EX: If I bought two pints of Ben and Jerry's, one for him and one for me, mine would be gone in a weekend (or maybe by Saturday...) and his would be half eaten, covered with those unsavory ice crystals, three months later. But lately, he's succumbing to sweets and salty and everything in between. So we are bad influences on each other.


We used to walk every morning or evening, so we have to get back to that. And I do great when I don't keep munchies in the house. Lately, I've fooled myself into thinking that a sleeve of Saltines a night is ok. They're not sweet so their calories don't count... Right?


This is bad--we're going to our storage space this Sunday to do some cleaning and we've dangled Panda Express as a motivator to get ourselves out there to work. We freely acknowledge that rewarding ourselves with food is BAD. But, we've got a coupon...


I refuse to buy bigger underwear! I've already broken down and bought fat pants--you know, elasticized waists. Feeling like an old lady... I keep praying for will power but all I get is cravings.


And the thing is, I feel like my health is going to start suffering. I don't want to get to that point where I'm borderline diabetic, hauling myself around like I've got a sack of cement on my back, huffing and puffing.


What really kills me is that 5 years ago I lost a lot of weight--my stomach was totally flat, I was wearing short, flirty skirts. I looked better than I did in my 20's. And now I've gained it all back. After I said I'd never put myself in this position again. I hate this! I'm a firm believer that you have to be ready-in your mind and heart-to tackle weight loss. Being this big bothers me every minute of the day. But I'm just not ready yet to make the culinary and lifestyle changes I need to make. I count calories long enough to lose a few pounds. Then I'm off and eating again...


Enough venting. I should take a walk at lunchtime but I'll probably read...

C'est la vie!

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